This is War
by altertalian-doodle
Summary: Somehow, the 2p!s wind up in the normal world. Nobody can find Italy, Russia's hiding something, and stuff seems to be heading towards WWIII. Author sucks at summaries. R&R please!
1. New World

This is my 1st story, guys. Enjoy!

Okay, I don't own Hetalia. If I did I would've made a shit load of Cold War episodes.

* * *

[1p! World, Rome]

"Are you _sure_ this is Italy?"

"Godammit, fratello, this is Italy, I swear. Just more…peaceful. The fuck happened?"

"But Luciiiii. I'm really really sure this isn't Italyyyyyy."

"Just shut up, okay? Before I castrate you with my knife. Besides, it's MY country"

"You _know_ I'm South."

"At least you're quiet when I paint with your blood."

"Can you please be nicer? And maybe help me find the Coliseum? Please?"

"… Ugh, fine."

* * *

[Moscow]

"I did not just see you burn a bar."

"Yes, you did. Now help me find a way to get back."

"Babe, I know you hate vodka, but really? Can't you hail a cab to a fucking winery?"

"No."

* * *

[Berlin]

"Hey East! Look what I found!"

"…"

"I dunno. He sorta looks like Luciano. Pretty cute, huh? Should I keep him?"

*Shrugs*

"Eh, okay. I'll keep him."

 **" _Lutz we should be finding a way back not looking for Italian look-alikes."_**

"What? Can we stay for a bit longer? Please?"

"..."

"Ve~ Germany! What happened to your face?"

* * *

hehe~ Yep, 2p! Germany found Italy.

Also, Prussia's probably the only one who won't be really similar to fanon, so here's a crash course

-He doesn't talk much, but when he does it's either about religon or really scary.

-He acts like 1p! Germany.

\- He may or may not have a crush on Hungary.

That's about it for now. R&R please!


	2. Interception

**Privyet, guys!**

 **Amberwolf2377, Anime4life5- You guys are fucking awesome. Remind me to make you guys dictators when I conquer the world.**

 **Love ya! *hugs***

 **Also, chances are I'll be updating less with school and crazy Latin teachers and whatever.**

 **Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himayura**

 **You guys have full permission to kill me. I cooked this up in 30 minutes while writing a literary analysis for 'The Queen of Spades'.**

 **Crazy English teachers.**

 **Anyways, here's chapter 2**

* * *

[World meeting, Berlin]

Italy still wasn't present. Chances were, he got distracted by a stray cat or an Italian restaurant or some pretty girl, but not on a rainy day in Berlin.

"Has anybody seen Veneiziano?"

"Whaddya mean, West? I thought he went with you!"

"Bruder, I haven't seen him since yesterday."

"Yeah, whatever. There was this guy, he kinda looked like you during the Great War, if the uniform was brown and you were a slob."

Russia looked slightly uncomfortable, like there was something that might be useful but probably shouldn't be brought up at the moment.

"Did he have a scar on his cheek?"

"How would I know? I'm not the god of facial features. Eh, probably."

"Дерьмо"

"Oh yeah, also, there was this other guy, he was sorta like me, but way less awesome."

"I believe I know of who you speak."

"Heh, really?"

"They are you and Germany."

"Yeah, right. Now stop messing with my awesome."

"I am serious. Their names are Lutz and Hermann."

Only then they realized other nations have been listening in to their conversation. Sensing an uproar, Russia left the room.

* * *

[Somewhere outside of the world meeting room]

The ex-communist thought it was about time the other countries knew about the 2ps anyway. He only feared for his under-the-counter meme deal with America. His people would not be amused to find that the lack of memes was solely because that idiot got pissed and raised his prices to ridiculous levels. _Again_.

His phone dinged.

Sender: Vladimir Braginsky.

'I think I'm lost. This place looks like a shitty version of Moscow'

'Also, Allan's bitching about me burning down this bar.'

What.

2ps were sometimes opposites, but really, a bar? And in _his_ Moscow?

What the fuck happened.

'I believe you are in my Moscow.'

'That makes so much sense.'

'Also, please refrain from burning any more bars. They are very dear to me.'

'Ok, mom, I got it.'

'Can you talk to your Germany? I believe he has our Italy, for whatever reason. They know now. I think.'

* * *

 **Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnddddd cut! Okay, random little things**

 **Дерьмо- shit**

 **Hermann is 2p! Prussia**

 **Allan is 2p! America**

 **I swear to fucking god Alfred and Ivan are dealing in illegal memes nobody is convincing me otherwise.**

 **Remember, 2p! Russia is in Moscow**

 **Also, he's very sarcastic**

 **I have a feeling this is leaning towards some sort of Trojan War scenario, with Italy and whatnot. (oh god help)**


	3. Little Boy

This is War Chp 3: Little Boy

 _An arm shoots out from a pile of ominous-looking rough drafts and homework assignments. The authoress scrabbles out._

" _Here you go." She whispers in a hoarse voice, the third chapter in her hand._

The things I suffer for you guys….

* * *

 _2ps…._

Japan left the conference building, just for a while, to sit under a sakura tree. He always found them relaxing, even inside a greenhouse on a rainy German day.

 _Kuro-kun, is that you?_

He remembered 1940, seeing his reflection in a mirror. _'I'm tired of samurais and katanas,'_ it said ' _Let's go, Honda. Now's the time for an empire.'_

It wasn't his reflection that said those decisive words. The Japan that looked back at him was darker, more dangerous. He called him Kuro, his darker half.

He remembered attacking China, bringing down his sword without a scrap of emotion. Seeing the inferno that was formerly a straight line of American ships. He made his name known through the world, soaked his hands with the blood of his conquests. He knew sacrifices were needed to make himself great. What terrified him was just how _satisfied_ he felt painting the ocean with blood, bringing great nations to their knees. The way he would laugh at the thought of prison camps, just like Germany.

It was the first and only time he feared for his sanity.

… _I shouldn't be thinking these things._

In 1945, he was the last of them* standing. He knew it was a losing battle. But Kuro was the one who led. He swore to fight until he died.

He did.

When America released the Little Boy, he was the one who dissolved. Kuro became no more.

 _Is he really gone, though?_

… _._

… _._

 _I don't know._

If Kuro was one of them, he didn't know how he could face him again.

* * *

[This is in 2p! Russia's POV]

If there was one thing I truly hated, it was vodka. Why would you waste your potatoes on something that'll give you a shit hangover?

Okay, I'll never actually admit this, but this Russia's Moscow is pretty nice. Except that there are bars. Fucking. Everywhere.

Godammit, you Vodka bastard. I need a smoke.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Al. But even he gives me shit when I take problems into my own hands. Look, this might not be my Moscow, but it's still Moscow, and I prefer it dry, okay?

My phone chimed. How coincidental, it's the vodka bastard himself.

 _They know._

No dip, Sherlock. It's not like Kuro spends half his days complaining about that failed Pacific campaign.

* * *

*Them refers to the Axis powers

I APOLIGIZE FOR ANY OOC *slams forehead on ground*

R&R please! It's my fuel. *happily noms*


	4. An Apology to all meh readers

**-APOLOGIA-**

* * *

I am very sorry people, but I'm sticking this on hiatus.

First of all, I wrote this on a whim. Seriously, I just got this idea and ran off with it, and now I have no fucking idea what to do next.

Two, I'm just not that motivated for this, and since I'm literally drowning in a pile of new AU ideas, it really isn't 1st priority.

I'm not discontinuing this. I'm not that cruel. It's just on hiatus until I feel like getting back to this.

 _I repeat, I am not discontinuing this_.

I will confess it may be a few years until I get back to this, but you will get a good ending, okay?

Your dumbass authoress,

~Winter


	5. Apache Attack Helicopters

I'll be updating this from time to time but don't expect any consistencies...

btw, my computer died on me (rip, Aksel) andbutso I can't access my draft for shots of war. And I have to use my dad's computer.

Does anyone else name their PC? Or is it just me?

Also, about that literary analysis I mentioned back in chapter 2: I got like a C on it...

Disclaimer: The only thing I own are some photos that I may have illegally gotten off Pixiv. (do I need to ask for permission?)

Fuck this I'm changing Vlad's name to Sasha, 'cause it speaks of manly gayness. Maybe I should edit it in the previous chapters... IDK let me know.

* * *

"Keh, Hermann, he looks like Luciano! Nyeh, so cute..."

Hermann was again wondering what lacked in his parenting so that he was the responsible one. He never liked to talk much, but he managed to scrape by with glares and the like.

 _Godammit, what the hell are you doing._

"Okay, okay, sheesh. We need to find the others, yeah?"

Or more of, someone found them, as they both heard Marco yodeling in German a few hundred feet away. "Guten Tag!~"

"Oh god, make it stop."

 _Don't feel like it_

Meanwhile Italy was marginally freaked out by the weird guy who looked like Germany and wouldn't stop hugging him. He could tell not-Germany was like him and the other nations, but it was sort of... Off. Like some underworld syndicate.

...

 _He remembered a long time ago, when he was still living with his grandfather, seeing him converse with a dark man in polished roman armor._

 _"Augustulus, my friend! What brings you here?"_

 _"Look, I don't have time for this. I should be out there conquering stuff with my soldiers."_

 _"Aah, sit down. Your soldiers can handle themselves, tell me what's bothering you."_

 _The dark man, Augustulus, sighed. "It's about my heirs. And yours."_

 _"I see. You're worried about what will happen, no? It took us a long time to come to an agreement, but even now emperors are being assassinated left and right."  
_

 _"Yeah. You do the politics, I do the war stuff. But I have two sons who will take the empire when I go, and you have yours. Four can't rule a single peninsula... They'll never stop fighting."_

 _"Four can't rule, but perhaps two can. Especially if the two are brothers."_

 _"Are you suggesting a gladiator fight?"_

 _"I want this place to be transitioned to them in the most peaceful way possible."_

 _"Them betting on gladiators? Whoever wins takes all?"_

 _Grandpa shook his head "No, we can't let them, or any future nations to ever meet their counterparts. It could be disastrous."_

 _"So..?"_

 _"We can divide this plane of reality. Your children and their brethren can live on one side. Mine will live on another."_

 _Augustulus took some time to consider it. "That will work"_

 _"I'll go talk to Britannia. She'll find a spell for it."_

 _Once he left Italy came out from his corner. "Avus, who was he?"_

 _"No one important, Felix. You probably won't see anyone like him again."_

...

 _You probably won't see anyone like him again_

That was a total lie, the proof right next to him and acting slightly disconcerting.

He played some video games with Japan before. If the same character was chosen, one would have inverted colors. The second player.

Second player... Player two... 2ps.

* * *

They stole a helicopter and were flying to England. They being Sasha and Allan.

"... I don't understand why you cover your right eye."

"We've been over this already. A, because my hair's like that and I'm lazy, and B, they've always seen me like that."

"Yeah, but-"

"If someone wears a hat all the time, and then all the sudden stops wearing it, it seems sort of weird *. Same concept. Now shut up, I'm trying to, like, not fly into birds or something." Sasha snapped.

That shut Allan up for a while.

Sasha's phone rang. "Who is it."

"Some guy you keep under the name of сука. Hey, doesn't that mean-"

"Cover for me."

"What? Okay..."

After switching pilots and some stumbling over the seats, the Russia picked up his phone "Hey, сука."

"Oh shut up, you work for the government too."

"You make deals with your boss"

"You do too. Stop acting like some uppity bratva guy." Ivan _really_ hated that nickname.

"It's rude to assume people's gender."

"Oh, you're not a guy? Then what are you, apache attack helicopter?"

"No, shut up. Why the fuck are you even calling me? Al's flying and you better have a good reason before we crash because he's trying not to hit the birds." He felt the helicopter do a nosedive. Do nosedives even apply to helicopters? or is it just planes? "Al, what the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry, babe, thought I saw a flock of geese."

Ivan sighed "Lutz and Hermann are in Berlin. Ours."

"And..?"

"We're having a world meeting here. Italy's missing and I think Japan's having a breakdown."

"What, still has nightmares of Kuro?"

"Stop getting off topic." The 1p snapped "As far as I know, we're the only ones who are completely familiar with each other and it would suck balls if it winds up in WW3."

"So..."

"Get your ass over here in Berlin. Like, now"

"Yergh, whatever." He hung up.

"Allan? I think we need to make a detour to Berlin."

"Ten-four, dollface."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the conference room, Germany was trying (and failing) to maintain order.

France and England were fighting (and occasionally making out, but he decided not to notice), Romano was insulting everything below, above and between the earth, and his brother (when did he get in?) was raising hell.

Then there were Japan and Russia, who were acting weird. Japan's usually neutral demeanor was replaced by a cloud of gloom, which was actually visible as a dark shadow above his head. Russia was muttering under his breath, something about 'vanilla asians' and 'cranberry juice shitheads'. He decided not to ask.

Looking over at America, he noted that he may or may not have been ogling aforementioned Russian. Well, fuck, he didn't need that mental image.

Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose. Screw it, he really needed a beer.

* * *

Marco is 2p! Switzerland. Like the guy who got cut in half from AoT.

Augustulus is 2p! Rome ( also the name of the last roman emperor, as opposed to Romulus, the founder of Rome and my name for the 1p)

*My version of 2p! Russia has a red eye and a yellow one. He keeps the yellow eye covered by hair styled like Ivan's, but longer. (Its his left one. Whoever's looking at him's right)

Avus- grandfather

Felix- the name Feliciano come from the Roman Felicianum, of which a diminutive is Felix.

сука (suka)- bitch (reference to the bitch wars: en. wikipedia wiki/ Bitch_Wars)

vanilla asian is an actual racial slur for Russians. Please don't, like, use it in front of Slavs.

Reviews make me happy in this dark time of midterms!


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